This is only a tad bit weird...

1 William sat down one day beside a rather large and rather orange buffalo. This on any other day would strike him as odd but not today, not the same day the sky filled with sporks and cows. Also what keep him from noticing was the fact that his girl friend left him for a toaster oven, and an old one at that. That really irked him he thought that she would at least pick a newer appliance, maybe the new 50" TV or the washer...just anything but that. With all of this flowing through his mind he did not notice the little birds that had gathered around him and started singin the star spangled banner. Then suddenly the buffalo spoke:
2 "Would you happen to have any cheese," said the buffalo, meekly. "You see, I am in fear that I will soon turn into an atheist monkey named James Joyce. Cheese, according to the Chrisitan God, is all that can stop this dreaded event from occurring." William reached deep into his salamader purse, hoping to find a block of cheese, but instead pulled from it a sloppily folded note. "Sorry, fellow, I haven'tgot any cheese. Perhaps you should ask one of the llamas." The buffalo sadly hung his head, for he had already asked the llamas. Feeling bloated, but otherwise lucid and coherent, William unfolded the note. However, before reading, he searched for his glasses, and noticed that the buffalo had changed from orange to a glassy yellow. "Curious," thought William, but otherwise placed no significance on this event. William he reached back into his salamander purse for his glasses, when, just beyond his left shoulder, there sounded a loud "thud" and then a meager "flop." William noticed that one of the cows had fallen from the sky, with an old toaster tightly wrapped around its neck. William stood to his feet, coughed, sniffled, and proudly stated, "In my hand is a neatly unfolded note, from which I shall now read to you. Its contents, should it have any, are as mysterious to me as they are to you." The buffalo, changed to its suboriginal color of orange, was listening. William hoped that the thudded and flopped cow was, as well.
3
As he began to read the note, it burst into flame, badly burning Willams hand. "OUCH!!" he screamed, and droped the flaming note into the 'oh so dry' grass. "whoooff" said the grass as it too, burst into flame, just as the little birds got to the "rockets red glare" part. He looked at his burned fingers. "MMMMM...spork rinds" he said as he happly munched his earstwhile fingers. He had allways had a problem chewing his nails, but had never gone this far before. Meanwhile the orange buffalo had taken flight... into the sky, joining the cows and sporks allready there.