Spicy Pumpkin Pie

1 I used to love Thanksgiving. Mashed
potatoes and gravy! And nothing beat
Grandma's spicy pumpkin pie.

But you know how families are during
the holidays.

2
they send budweisers across the swamp and slowly approach you...saying things like, "I couldn't help but notice the way the moonlight reflects off your sticky gelatonous tongue."
3 " Get out of my room you little fucking brats" I screamed at
my twin brothers Louie and Frank. "God they are freaks...so
where was I --oh yeah spicy pumpkin pie, Uncle Fred falling
asleep always twelve minutes after dinner. Amazing always in
exactly twelve minutes. I could set my clock by this guy.My
mother would make me, the only girl in the family help her
for hours in the kitchen. I had the much coveted job as prep
cook.I parred the potatoes, chopped onions, carrots, shelled peas,
all the stuff the chefs on TV have someone else do for them
before the show. But it was always worth it to see the family
together again. We always needed a good meal to fight which
is what our family was known for in our small town in Richmond Virginia.
"Is it possible to have a family feud within your own family?
I thought it took two families?" I asked my mother this question
last Thanksgiving as I peeled the fiftieth potato.

"Jessica dear, we don't squabble anymore than any other
family," my mother said dismissively."And besides...it's always good to hide the butcher knives this time of year."

I rolled my eyes. Denial can be a deadly thing.

4

However, this year was different. You see, it seems that my nephew, Ruprick, had brought his own butcher knives this year, and unsuspecting to all of us he was divying them up amongst his "team" under the table.

It's a good thing I always carried my deluxe swiss army knife...
5
and my Fantasy Barbie Magic Mirror...
Ruprick had always vexed me, and I was in such a mood.