Please Help Me Out of Here She Screamed

1 A foreign coffeehouse
Your own tropical island
An art colony tuck you in
someone else's bed
in a movie
in outer space
crowd surfing
kissing girls
crying on shoulders
dreams of flying
on a houseboat in Monterey
waking to birds
famous and rich
high as a kite
somehow elevated
only seedless grapes
a perfect monastery
with geometrical precision
talking animals
angelic choirs
better than sex

conversation
that effortlessly
leads to action
the world holding hands
staring blankly
not knowing what to say

O, abyssmal cleansing product
you make me clean
empty enough for infinity
in my heart
in my will
in my love
in my emotion
in my excitement
in my fearless laughing tightrope walking
in my being stuck in time
in my fear of losing those who hold me back
I am manic and careless in my rebellion
as if sneaking quickly across a squeaky floor
is the best strategy
no no I must now say no
up front
in plain view
spotlighted
showcased under the scalpel
it is not me
on the tightrope
it is the spirit that moves me

I have no use for anything
because I am useless
sign me up
give me a job today
I want to fade to white
not behind books for twenty years
Ringing up cash registers

I burn books I've already became

Make suffering for me
so that I'll always
remember my lack of awareness
until I am aware
sleep is the same as being awake
fight the good fight
get assassinated
in feels so good
but so does a hug.

Long Beach, CA 7/25-7/26/04